August 2, 2000
The backgrounds for these last few months are starting to look like Easter eggs so in an attempt to achieve harmony I put a dark backdrop for August. And since I haven’t been scoring much 8-track wise it’s relevant.
I suppose the problem with 8 tracks lately is not so much quantity but quality. I could easily drive a 50 mile radius from this computer and have no problem getting 200 tapes for like $30.00 but it would be fodder like Englebert Humperdink, 101 Strings, and Willie Nelson. Since the basement is full of boxes of this crap what’s the use.
Lately I’ve been making my own multi track
guilty pleasure eclectic tapes with blanks. They come in lengths of 40 min, 60,
80 and 90. I have a short attention span and when I think about it I really can’t
name a single album I can listen all the way through, maybe that’s why I’m
so into K-tel compilations. Finding enough "cream" for an 80-min tape
is a lot of work.
None of it would be played on those "Golden Oldies" stations and I often wonder if people ever get tired of classic rock? It’s like the DJ has a play list of 20 songs in rotation over and over for the last decade that have now taken on a muzak- like quality. I can’t even listen to Hotel Calif. or Stairway to Heaven the same way I can’t drink Budweiser beer anymore.
Strange, I’ve never thought that
finding 1960’s-70’s tiki culture memorabilia would be easier to 
score,
must be the area. I’d put a tiki link on this web page of these great objects
but when I signed up on the "8
Track Web Ring" (In blood mind you). I signed away my soul. That
contract strictly forbid "Any non 8 track pages" and I don’t want to
have an unscheduled visit from the 8-track mob here. "You’ve got a nice
Weltron here, It would be a shame if something were to happen to it".
One pays dearly for accessibility, maybe after the 20,000 hit on this page you’ll be able to find it on a keyword search instead of the obscure links.
August 5, 2000
The 12 garage and yard sale safari began with the usual finds- Polynesian pop culture relics, knick-knacks shaped like body parts. Today was a mug for a decongestant product modeled after a nose. 8 tracks have slowly taken a back seat to these finds due to their scarcity.
I ended up in a line for an estate sale that would only allow 12 people in at a time by "Strict Order of The Fire Marshall". I wonder how many yard sales have been officially inspected in this manner. Will metal detectors soon be a staple at garage sales?
20 min later I was inside and found a quad Herb Alpert tape and the soundtrack of The Fiddler On the Roof, not worth bragging about. The other two tapes were a copy of Bing Crosby’s Hey Jude/Hey Bing! That sounds like the Beatles meet Mitch Miller. I also snagged a copy of The Sandpipers-Come Saturday Morning.
The Sandpipers can be heard on those "Beautiful Music" easy listening stations and were a trio from LA in the 60’s who sing in a relaxed dreamy style. They use to tour with a go go dancer in boots and a mini skirt which makes about as much sense as well, Bing Crosby singing Beatles tunes.
The reason I’m making a big wow about it is
they cover the Theme from Beyond
The Valley Of The Dolls on this tape. This is probably my favorite film and
once when I heard Roger Ebert was in town for a book signing years ago I forced
my way to the front of the line and quized him on all the BTVOD and Z-Man trivia
(he does TV commercials) I could before I had to move on.
When Orson Wells was 24 he made Citizen Kane. When Roger Ebert was the same age he did BTVOTD. These are the only films you need to see.
August 8, 2000
Today I found the first cartridge of the two tape set called This is The Moody Blues. I’ll add it to the shelf where I have The Beatles Part 2 1967-1970 tape 2, The Beatles Part 1 1962-1966 tape 1and The Quad Isaac Hayes Live at the Sahara Tahoe tape 2.
I wonder where the other half of these twin tapes are? Probably on the floor of some rig heading towards Texas, at least when they change tracks they don’t continue on the missing tape.
August 11, 2000
Todays present came in the form of a dog chewed 8 track case filled with 15 cartridges that probably belonged to some truck stud.
I got the hard sell at the sale when I asked how much and the woman gave me the cliché 8 track used car salesman line that begins…"They don’t make these anymore, $10.00 for them all."
As I composed myself ready to escape she said to make and offer and I said $2.00 and she turned sour grapes and whined "They’ve been in the garage for years and I don’t have a player." With that I seized the booty.
I may have overpaid. Here’s the verdict ,
Into The Furnace
3 Donna Fargo tapes (who?) 6 Lynn Anderson (Huh?), Hank Williams, Glen Campbell and Gary Pucket
Life without Parole
Truck Drivin Man-Various Artists. I don’t like the music but I love the idea of a musical genre targeted at people who drive rigs. I drive a Ford Festiva and want music I can call my own too.
Not Guilty
A tape called British Gold that has such classic rock commodities like Laya (the decent version not that horrible bossa nova unplugged that radio stations with slogans like "The station that everyone at work agrees on") play. And lots of British invasion obscure Beatles cash in tunes whose music I haven’t heard in decades.
Guilty By Reason of Insanity
I dig this one, it’s a cheep bootleg called
"Convoy". I thought it would be a knock off of C.W. MaCall’s 70’s
novelty CB radio hit. This tape sounds like it was recorded at a karaoke bar and
the
bad
musicians and off singers tackle the nadir of the 70’s like – I Write the
Songs, Country Boy and a passionless version of The Bay City Roller’s
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night where the singer sounds drugged. They don’t make em like
this any more, shame.
August 13, 2000
No 8 tracks today but I found something strangely similar, 3 Betamax videotapes. The parallels with 8 tracks are obvious and I once heard that the reason that they stopped making them was a corporate coup by Panasonic that made them the sole video company for movies made past a certain date. The reason I sound vague on this is I only found one page on this subject that’s like a poor mans version of 8 Track Heaven . The links are outdated and have everyone's favorite "This Page Cannot Be Found" message.
A lot of 8 trackers say the clunky size of the
tapes led them to be replaced by cassettes but that’s the exact opposite of
Beta tapes. Of course everything will be moot once DVD take over this quaint
technology. Better stock up now. I wonder how much a sealed ET will go for on
Ebay?
August 19, 2000
Today I found a portable player put out by that harbinger magazine Reader’s Digest. I guess I should play one of these RD 8 track compellations with titles like "Great Masterpieces or Some Enchanted Evening but those make Ford Car 8-tracks sound like Iggy Pop. Reader’s Digest is so wonderfully square that it nearly works on the camp level. The joke page is so innocent and dry it always breaks me up and I memorized one years ago for a reason I can’t explain-Where do you take a psychic cat? To the ESPCA. That joke fascinates me in a similar way that sock monkeys do.
It has a handle on it so that makes it a portable even though it weights like 20 pounds. The sale was kind of funny and I’m not sure if the woman was serious or not. While I was scrutinizing it she greeted me in that frightening used car salesman manner, telling me how it was her fathers and by his headboard for 15 years and to please test it since the sound is "just perfect".
I did and it was so I bit my lip and asked here how much and did a double take when she said a buck! Righteousness prevails
August 23, 2000
Anyone worth their pinch roller has heard of those staid CARtridges like Chryslers "The Sound of Stereo" and Oldsmobile Presents. Well this little oddity I got a few days back was put on the major label Audio Techniques and is named "Motor Home Owners Guide". It is 4 tracks of car and maintaining a mobile home. This is much more in tune with contemporary 8-track stereotypical culture than say a Cadillac tape.
A few choice cuts are –Safety Tips,
Electrical and Plumbing and my personal favorite, Vacationing Tips where the
narrator give trailer driving tips to the strains of a flute. "Go to a
supermarket parking lot after is closes and practice turning."
It blows away any car tape but then again what doesn’t?
August 27, 2000
A chance stop led me to one of those dreadful yard sales that are 80% toddler’s clothing and barrels of fast food toys that they can’t choke on.
So I was thumbing through the 9 albums she had in the corner and she said half jokingly "Do you know anyone who still listens to 8-tracks?" I froze, stood up and she retrieved a medium sized box of tapes. This would be a nice fantasy story but was brought back to Sequim was when I saw that most of the tapes were country music. Out for like 30 cartridges I nabbed The Alan Parsons Project, Grover Washington Jr., Barry Manilow, and the Broadway recording of A Chorus Line.
This tape really offended my delicate
sensibilities. When I popped it in the car player I heard such gutter language
that would make a sailor blush. What gives, I thought these expletives were
reserved for that vulgar Compact disk technology. So to restore order I tossed
in the Manilow tape and heard him doing a number with Lily (One ringy dingy)
Tomlin? This was almost as surprising as the swearing .What brought up this
strange alliance? Maybe Lionel Richie should perform a duet with Ruth Buzzi?
I want the recording rights.
August 30, 2000
Today we’re discussing 8 track tapes I own and covet but never listen to. In a lot of ways I think of these tapes as precious gems that I remove form the vault, fondle, and return to their respected pedestals. Some music is best seen and not heard.
What a wonderful start for the month. I feel like Columbus when his ship sailed past the horse latitudes. Today in one of the poorer sections of town there was a garage sale that showcased boring contemporary items. I use to think the impoverished held on to old stuff because thy couldn’t afford now things but now they just seem to go into a credit card indentured servant debt and keep up with the Jones’ like everyone else.
The kindly old gentleman there had a case of 12 8 tracks by the porch and saw my zeal at the rock tapes and said he had more inside but didn’t think anyone would want them. So I asked to see them and was soon salivating at an estimated 300 cartridges that filled a large box and 2 shopping bags (not grocery bags mind you, but Old Navy bags).
I tried to contain myself when on top I saw The Clash, Gary Numan, Rockpile, and a Bread Quad. I only had $15.00 in my wallet and would have put my car down as collateral if it were necessary but he went for my offer and looked as excited for it as I was (no way).
Of course like John Travolta sang so
eloquently "You can’t have rainbows with out the rain." On
closer examination I saw that about 40 of them were horrible gospel tapes
reserved for either the very religious or the masochistic (make offer). But
I got 5 K-tels I’ve never heard of, Cheech and Chong, a disco dance
instructional tape and what really made my pupils enlarge was a copy of
Frank Zappa’s Ship Arriving too Late to Save a Drowning Witch on his
Barking Pumpkin label. That’s news to me on 8 track.
My player has been on for the last 6 hours with no end in site and I’ve barley dented the pile.
So Many Tapes, So Little Time
September 6, 2000
I was feeling particularly gutsy today and ventured into the paper bag of religious tapes I got last week. So I grabbed about a 10 of them and picked up a portable off the shelf to see if any were tolerable.
Gospel 8 tracks are a strange lot, I guess I’m not crazy about hearing someone sing about someone else’s experiences. And how many times can you praise Jesus before the boredom sets in? Blind faith doesn’t leave much room for creativity. My Favorite Religious singer is Little Marcy.
Here are the meat and potatoes of the pile
albeit it’s more like a Slim Jim. Presenting (Dig this cartridge title) The
Astonishing Outrageous Amazing Incredible Unbelievable Different World Of Gary
S. Paxton. Mr. Adjective scores points with me for his originality. His songs
are loud with a country twang but the titles are a breath of fresh air from the
same old Amazing Grace core. The standouts are- Weeds, Sophisticated Savage, and You
Ain’t Smokin Them Cigarettes (Baby They’re Smokin You). Yes I know it’s
not great but what did you expect.
I may take a road trip to K-tel Seattle this weekend, and I do pick up hitchhikers.
While they listen to Whitney Houston I'll listen to Thelma Houston